What to Get Your Girlfriend for Christmas

I am seeing guys with sort of glazed expressions, wandering around the malls. The poor souls have been swallowed up into the Christmas Vortex. They are lost, searching for an answer, looking in shop windows for something to jump out at them.

One year my ex gave me pants with one leg shorter than the other, and a sweater with a hole in it that you could have fit a quarter through.

That's not WHY he's now my ex, but I suspect at one point he was one of those glassy-eyed shoppers.

Here's a suggestion: For those of you with big bucks, a diamond tennis bracelet would work just great. Trust me on this. And yes, she IS worth it!

For those of you who don't have the resources for a tennis bracelet, I will save you the whole hassle of the mall, and the expense of gas. Go to Etsy.com. Type your girlfriend's favorite color and then "bracelet" into the search, and see what comes up. You will be amazed at the truly beautiful handmade items to select from -- and at reasonable prices too! Does your girl like horses? Try typing in "horse". Is she a dancer or skater? Try those too. You get the picture.

There is nothing that speaks of a gift from the heart like a handmade treasure. Plus, you will be supporting the arts! What could be better?

Have more than one girlfriend to shop for? Can't keep em all straight? You sly dog! Try typing in "ornament" and see what comes up. There is nothing like handmade Christmas ornaments. Believe me, Christmas items like ornaments are very dear to us, and will give us something to remember you by, or burn, after we dump your sorry cheatin' ass.

Happy Shopping!