Women Over 30, Step Aside, Please….

       Yeah, I get the picture. But the Universal Law of Youth and Beauty in our society is changing.  However, maybe someone needs to tell the publishing world.  Compelling stories of women aging way past the deadline are popping their stubborn heads up with more force now than ever.  The current movie marquees say it all.  “Still Alice,” an award-winning tale about dementia with the ever-formidable Julianne Moore, age 54 .  “Cake,” with the eternal girl next door, Jennifer Aniston, 46.  And, God bless her, Meryl Streep, “Into the Woods.”  Meryl Streep is 65.

 

So my little sis Amanda, who is now 44, has just burst upon the literary world with her first book, THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN, a true story she co-authored with me.  A Memoir with Moi.  The story is special not only because Amanda has Down syndrome, but because it is injected throughout with her slapstick, underestimated flair for comic genius.  Despite losing both her parents, and subsequent horrific treatment by some of her siblings, she maintains a dignity that surpasses everyone else in the story, including myself.



We self-published the effort at end November 2014, and have received an overwhelming positive response from readers.  But our venture into mainstream publishing isn’t panning out the way we hoped.  Among the slew of publishers we have contacted, only one responded so far.  They told us that parents of people with disabilities want to read stories about babies, not people in our age group.  Since then, I am hearing from other sources that the publishing world doesn’t generally acknowledge stories about women over 30.

I knew our story would be an important message to families of people with disabilities, and maybe to families in general.  But I never anticipated having to lobby for the cause of the still-useful, still-significant Middle Aged Woman.  Jeesh, folks, really?  Haven’t we evolved father than this?



Whomever made the rule that a woman’s life ends at 30 needs to take another look.  We’re just getting started.

My Sister, the Author

Our book is published today. THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN joins the select few books actually written by an author (or co-author) with Down's syndrome.

Amanda has long been a writer at heart.  When she was a baby, she used to climb the stairs and sit with me in my bedroom while I wrote page after page on spiral-bound note paper.  I wrote and illustrated hundreds of pages of horse stories while my patient companion was content to just sit cross-legged on the bed near my desk, watching me or quietly coloring or just waiting.

At that time, I didn't realize the impact this was having.  Amanda was just a baby then. I graduated, moved away to Alaska and then the western states.  In the meantime, Amanda grew up illiterate.  Finally, when she was around 20 years old, I had moved back to Michigan and was spending lots of time with her.  I sat with her in the big gold chair in the living room looking at the back of an Eddie Rabbitt album.  She was a huge country music fan.  I was reading the words to, "I Love a Rainy Night."

She was attentive as always, and I began pointing out the letters and sounding them out.  When we reached the end of each line, we would sing it.

Perhaps it was the simplistic repetition of the song, but I thought she was catching on.

Later, watching a "Hooked on Phonics" infomercial, I told my then-husband, "This might work for Amanda.  They use music, see?"

He wanted no part of spending $200 on that program.  So, I saved my money and ordered one, and brought it home on my next trip North, along with a couple of Dr. Seuss children's books.  Mom and Dad wisely sent the program to Amanda's school.  It not only helped Amanda. but other kids in her special ed class learned to read, too.  When I asked Dad about her progress later, Dad said, "Yes, she is learning, but it's going to be limited."

I will never forget the first time Amanda stumbled through, "Green Eggs and Ham."  I was in tears.  She was 21 years old by then, and opening a whole new door for herself.

From that point on, the household exploded with paper and notebooks.  Amanda was filling every spiral-bound notebook in sight, practicing her writing in her shaky, angular cursive hand.  She copied pages of old paperbacks.  Eventually she began writing her own thoughts; page after page.

A writer was born.

When finally she began journaling after our Mom's death, I asked her, "How would you like to write a book with me?  We can write about our mother, and Dad, and our experiences with the family."

She loved the idea.  We pored over our story, building it one page at a time, editing and discussing and reading to each other.  We lost Mom, and we cried and wrote.  We lost Dad, and we cried and wrote some more.  Our siblings battled over Amanda's guardianship, and we wrote on in determination.  We were partners in a combined effort.  This was our project; our journey.  When I asked her if she was ready to become a published author, she said, "I cannot wait!  I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!"

So the little girl who quietly sat by has become a literary force in her own right.  Unencumbered by her disability, she forges onward.

"Limited," indeed!  ...If Dad could see her now.

Click to Order

The North Side of Down

 

 

"There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a great competition and rivalry between the two. There is a third power stronger than both, that of the women."

- Muhammad Ali Jinnah

 

It has been a rough couple of years:  Rougher even than my divorce, or the subsequent foreclosure of my home.  What made the past few so difficult was the loss of my parents, magnetized by the suffering of my poor sister, Amanda.  She has Down's syndrome and became the object of a feud between two siblings vying for guardianship.  Amanda had made her choice, but the entire family was still dragged through an excruciating legal process that lasted for nearly two months, immediately following my Dad's death.

 

During these weeks I devoted nearly all my time attempting to comfort and reassure her.  Though terribly depressed, grieving, confused and scared, she handled the situation with tremendous dignity.  She handled it better than I did.  I was furious.

 

Amanda is in her forties.  She spent her whole life living with my parents in the remote Northern Michigan village.  She was their buffer, their companion, their servant (often unwilling), and their endless source of entertainment.  Amanda is a brilliant wit and, since she is universally underestimated, her snappy one-liners can ambush the innocent bystander.

 

For instance:

 

Me: Did you have a good birthday?
Amanda: Yes.
Me: I would hope so. THREE birthday cakes, jeesh...
Amanda: Yeah. Tomorrow it's back to normal food. Snickers and Milky Way.

One thing Amanda and I have in common is that we both love to write.  During those terrible weeks in 2013, we found solace in sharing our thoughts, and putting words on paper.  Even then, I saw the start of a book happening.  We were living it.  Every day that we were together, we made notes.  Often Amanda would initiate these sessions by saying, "Let's work on our book."

It brought tremendous comfort to both of us.  Now I am finding that most memoirs having to do with Down's syndrome are about babies, written by the parents...  People reeling from the reality of how their life will never be the same, and not in ways they expected.  But Amanda's story is one of later years, and hopefully will serve as a warning to folks about getting their affairs in order.  I hope that this story will spring from the ashes and help someone. 

The manuscript is in the final editing stages now; our story is told.  We are searching for a publisher, but teetering on the brink of indecision, as there are so many self-publishing options available.  Please follow us on Facebook for regular updates.

THE NORTH SIDE OF DOWN will describe, as no other book has, what life is like growing up with someone with Down's syndrome. It will show how sometimes those with the softest voice have the most to say. It will show how appearances can deceive, not only in those who seem simple, but in those who seem the most loyal. It will examine how the legal system can paralyze a disabled person in the wake of the loss of a guardian. Perhaps most importantly, it explains the concept of true forgiveness.

Clifford Visits Fernwood Botanical Garden and Gallery

 

We had a whopping turnout of over 300 people to meet Clifford, pose for photos and see him sign books at Fernwood Botanical Garden and Gallery in Niles, Michigan.  The setting was beautiful and so was the weather!  You can't ask for more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday June 15

The Sleeping Lion -- Waking Up to Change

Back in 1990 I decided to write a science fiction story called, "The Sleeping Lion" based on an idea that I had.  The story is about a young woman named Kelly who lives with an abusive boyfriend.  She escapes for an evening hike in the mountains to find a meteor hurtling into her path.  It crashes, but then she finds that it's not a meteor.

Of course, as with most of my stories, there has to be an animal with a primary role in the story.  In this one, it is Art, a Somali cat.

I had plenty of experience with some of the subject matter -- including life in Colorado with an abusive boyfriend.  Spending weekends hiking up in the mountains in Estes Park was one of the best experiences I've ever had -- nasty boyfriend notwithstanding.

About five years after the Colorado stint, and when I decided to write the story, I was in Michigan and married.  Unfortunately my taste in men hadn't improved a whole lot.  He was still abusive, only in more subtle (therefore longer-lasting and ultimately more damaging) ways.  Because he was essentially a rocket scientist, I was able to glean some good information from him for the story.

I didn't have any luck in the publishing world at that point, so the book lay inactive for years, until just recently when I dug it out again, rather accidentally.

Though it is a sci-fi story about a crashing meteor, "The Sleeping Lion" is ultimately about relationships, with the central theme being about personal inner strength.  It is a message I keep re-exploring.  I don't seem to consciously realize it, but it appears that my deepest desire is to be strong.  I admire strength which doesn't sacrifice kindness, empathy which doesn't sacrifice dignity.

In reading it, I was happy to note that I have changed, mainly in that there is no way I would now put up with that kind of treatment from anyone.

I knew that my writing skills have also matured, but I still have much to learn.  It is, however, still an entertaining read. 

I especially liked revisiting Art, my long-lost Somali cat, and the trails in Estes Park.  I need to get back there someday.   I hope that, unlike me, they haven't changed too much.

"The Sleeping Lion" is also available on Kindle. 

Clifford's Expos, Eh?

We were excited to learn that the Novi Equestrian Expo and Novi Pet Expo, both traditionally held in November, were under new management this year.  The new promoters were enthusiastic and happy to add Clifford to their entertainment list for both events.

 

After a summer hiatus, Til was happy to climb back in his suitcase to perform his freestyle frisbee routine for the amazing Rock N Roll K9s Performance Team.

Este got leathered up for the event and auditioned for the Rock N Roll K9s.  She made a good effort, especially climbing the A-frame, which she had never done before.  She ended up outrunning me on the course and passed her audition with flying colors! 

How Does a Horse Celebrate His Birthday? At the Library!

It all started something like this!

 Then, 20 years later, Clifford did an appearance at Roscommon MI County Library.

We were swarmed at the door!

 It was a Birthday Bash to remember!

Clifford got a horse-sized birthday card!

What horse could resist this plate of home made peppermint treats?

Not this one!

And a good time was had by all!

"It's not every day you have a real horse IN the library, but Clifford was a perfect guest!  We had over 70 children enjoy the program, and they have asked for him to come back again and again! Clifford even autographs his books! I would strongly recommend having Clifford the horse come to your library!"
~ Lisa Sutton, Roscommon Area District Library

Clifford turns 22 today, and going strong!  We are still working on his 2013 tour.  Please share our campaign site and spread the word!

Our Big Intro

 

Clifford introduced hundreds of kids to the Morgan Horse when we announced our summer reading program on Monday June 5, 2011 in Grayling Michigan. We appeared at the Grayling Library the following Saturday with our program, "Horse Tales Around the World".

Clifford walked right in to both assemblies, the first in the school cafeteria and the second in a gymnasium. The kids screamed and cheered like he was a rock star. They were sitting on the floor in the gym and he had to stop and say hello to each child in the first row on our way in. We were Laurel and Hardy that day as he happily "supported" my speech by nudging me and grabbing the microphone cord.

Kids might not remember the message but I'm sure they'll never forget the day a horse came in their school!

We are accepting invitations from libraries around Michigan, with the intent to head through Ohio and Indiana through June. We are still mapping our route. Go Morgans!

See our campaign to raise funds for our summer 2013 tour and documentary film!

Horse Books

In Michigan's Upper Peninsula, sometimes it feels like winter is never going to end.  For a horse owner, it offers cold-weather challenges such as snow drifts, frozen water tanks and temps well below zero.  This season, the brave stewards of Clifford and Trudy, who took them in during dire straits in December have faced a hay shortage as well, due to the drought of prior summer.

I am so grateful to my friends who are caring for them.  I haven't seen much of the horses this past year, being consumed by Dad's health issues, and then work commitments have taken me on the road.  At every pet expo I attend with the dogs, someone inevitably asks, "Where is Clifford?"

The question always feels like a little kick in the gut, but it's good to have the reminder that people still remember and care about him.  He did make an impact.  We traveled to Long Island New York, to Florida and all over Michigan, visiting expos and libraries to promote "Clifford of Drummond Island."  I thought I might be able to sell some books and entertain people a little bit with my funny house-trained horse.  What I didn't expect was the way Clifford was reaching out to certain people.  He always gravitated to the smallest child in any group.  If that child shrank away in fear, he would turn away and move on to someone who was not afraid.  He was most remarkable with people in wheelchairs, nuzzling them softly without using the mouthing so characteristic of him.  He usually would sniff and examine their legs at length.  One quadriplegic boy asked if Clifford could take his baseball cap off.  His mom asked him why.  But I thought I understood.  It was one way he could make contact.  At my request, Clifford gently removed his cap and dropped it in his lap. 

I hate to think of this talented horse's time going to waste as we weather out a long winter and each crisis. The towing vehicle is broken.  The trailer has seen better days.  Financing travel with a horse can seem like a luxury during lean times.  There are many stories of Clifford that I haven't told yet, and they are the most wonderful stories of all.  I hope we will be able to tour again, as we have just barely scratched the proverbial surface of what Clifford is able to do.

I'm sure there is another book in us, as we explore the mostly-uncharted territories of animals helping people with autism and other disabilities.  Kids may not retain a lot of what we talk about, but they will never forget the day a horse came into their school!

Meanwhile, Clifford isn't exactly suffering, as he munches away on some of the country's best timothy hay, harvested right there locally in Pickford Michigan.  The snow blankets him but he hardly bothers to lift his head.  (Can horses burp?)  Trudy in the meantime is checking out the cute little Morgan stud colt right over the fence.

Maybe spring is coming, after all.

"Clifford of Drummond Island" and others in the Clifford Horse series are now available on Kindle!

25 Ways to Raise a Great Border Collie

Terrible Til once again had a successful run in the Disc Dogs of Michigan Frisbee competition.  This one was held in Grand Blanc, Michigan and we placed third in the novice toss-and-fetch, against about 30 teams.  Til is pictured (against an ugly plywood background, don't ask me why I did that) with his trophy and other prizes.  He's wearing his uniform that was lovingly hand-sewn by our friend Jerrie from Doggone Bandanas. 

Can I just say what a joy this border collie is?   "Terrible Til," my Dad jokingly dubbed him when he was a puppy, for his high drive, into-everything, non-stop busy-ness.  People have complained of his nickname, but as I explained, one definition of "Terrible" is, "causing awe".  So it's kind of like calling him, "Awesome Til".  (How's that for a bail-out answer?)  Til has made friends everywhere we go, and in true border collie style, he doesn't know the meaning of giving up.  He gives his all in every task and always with good humor.  "He's like the guy you always make sure to invite to the party," I told someone.  The "Court Jester" will keep the whole crowd laughing all night, but this one sticks around to help clean up the mess!

Til is well socialized, and I started early when he was only eight weeks old.  Here's an excerpt from my book about puppy training that pertains to socialization:

5)  Make New Friends

Puppies are a natural magnet for attention out in public.  Happily, this is the best thing for them.  After your pup has had his first vaccinations, it is best to take him with you everywhere, exposing him to as much stimulation as possible.

The early learning window closes at about four and a half months of age.  Before that time, even if you have a pup who is shy, you have the opportunity to turn this around by saturating him with new people and places.  You can’t overdo socialization!  If you are headed out for a quick trip to the store, take him with you!  Don’t think that you can’t be bothered.  Grab the pup and a leash and take an extra few minutes just to walk him through the parking lot.  Even short excursions will pay off big time in the long run.

Clifford's Book Signing Debut

I was a little concerned when I woke up to raging winds on the day of Clifford's debut at Borders Books. It was blowing so hard that some of the young trees were bending over and the rain was flying sideways. The forecast called for 40 mph winds all day, along with temperatures dropping to 40 degrees.

Great.

I called Jon Sheldon, my friend who had volunteered to bring his truck, hitch up Wheelzebub and haul Clifford to Brighton for the show. Jon had a prior engagement later that morning. "I don't want to put Clifford through this," I said. "You go ahead and go to your other thing, and we can wait and see if the weather clears."

Over the course of the morning I discussed weather et al with Clifford's publicity consultant, Ken Scarnegie and we decided to cancel the event. We knew that no press would show up and probably not much public either. Besides, we wouldn't be able to set up the tent in this wind. I knew the layout of the Borders store and couldn't think of a spot that would be dry and safe for Clifford to sign books. We asked, but even though Clifford is basically housebroken, they were not going to let him inside the store.

Several minutes after the decision was reached, I got a call back from Ken. "We have another problem here," he said. "The Borders manager just told me they have corporate people coming."

"You know what? I'm going over there. I'm going to just see what the weather is like in Brighton and get an idea of the situation."

My friend Vickie Sheathelm showed up from Roscommon about that time and we drove to Brighton together. We were greeted by a very enthusiastic Borders staff. They had a table set up with fifty or so books on it. I placed Clifford's painting on an easel behind the table and sat down to do the signing by myself.



The local store manager, Dan, came out and introduced himself and said, "We can have Clifford back in the loading dock. It's protected from the wind."

He walked me back behind the store and showed me the enormous three-sided loading dock with high brick walls. I really wanted Clifford to be there. I decided if worse came to worst, this would work.

I called Ken. "You know what? We're going to do this. When you get here, we'll take your truck and go get Clifford."

Ken arrived and we drove back to the farm in Gregory and hauled Wheelzebub with a big white truck that has, "K9 Classic" on the sides of it.

I showed him the loading dock and Ken said, "No. We didn't go through all this to have Clifford behind the store. Does Vickie know Clifford well enough to unload and handle him while you go inside and sign books?"

"She does, but I have to stay with Clifford," I said.

I unloaded Cliffy and we walked right up to the front door of Borders and we stayed there all afternoon. It was cold, but there was a small lee from the wind there. People came. They had heard my radio interview the day before, or, they happened to be driving by and spotted a horse, and stopped to look.


Clifford was in his element. Out in the parking lot, the wind swirled and blew icy rain, but in our little corner, Clifford greeted people and posed for photos like the pro that he is.


His book signing efforts were sporadic events. He managed to get paint all over his nose, and all over me, but he was more interested in checking out the people who showed up, especially the little kids, and looking at himself in the window.



I didn't recognize the corporate manager of Borders, who stood watching the proceedings for a long time, while Clifford did his tricks and greeted people and made them laugh.

"I can't get over how calm he is," he told Ken, later. "Nothing scares him. And the bond between him and his owner is so obvious. This is amazing."

I answered questions about Clifford all that day, and told them that this is the trademark of the Morgan horse; their gregarious nature, their acceptance and curiosity in new situations.



I said to Ken, "Do you understand now why I have to stay with Clifford?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Absolutely."

Borders sold a stack of books that day; I am not sure how many exactly. We had offered to buy back the remaining few, but they said no, they were keeping them! By the end of the afternoon, it was settled. Clifford's new job is to sell books. We're going on tour.

Clifford's Book Signing at Borders Bookstore

It's not every day you get the chance to have a book about a horse signed -- by the horse! Clifford will be making his debut appearance to sign his own books -- and his first time at a real bookstore! Borders in Brighton Michigan is hosting a big birthday bash for Clifford (who turns 19 this month) on May 8th, from 2-4 pm. Stop by and wish him a happy birthday, and pick up a copy of his trilogy, "Clifford of Drummond Island", "Return to Manitou", and "Clifford's Bay."

First Ride of Spring

Clifford was in rare form today, eager to hit the road. I had a lot of preliminary work to do, pulling the burrs from his mane, forelock and tail. It took over an hour. He endured it all pretty patiently, but when he saw me getting books and watercolors out, he started getting excited. I can think of few things this horse likes better than painting. At any rate, he was able to vent his artistic urges on six or seven books. I gave him a couple of peppermints and then said, "Come on," and he followed me back into the stall. When I went out, he turned around and tried to follow me back out. I slid the door shut and he pinned his ears! Man, he was mad! He just wanted to keep signing books. I took some pictures of a few of our pages and listed one on eBay. I may list more.



I went and got the saddle and put it on him. He was so fidgety and excited from all this attention that he could barely stand still. When I pulled out the camera, he did manage to stand still just for a moment, to strike a pose.

We went down the road. I've been a little concerned about his knee this year, but have started dosing him with StemEquine. He did feel a little stiff in the beginning, but as we went along I felt him loosening up. We walked a couple of miles, and sure enough, by the time we got back to the bottom of the big hill, he was ready to rock and roll. He at first tried to gallop up across the neighbor's groomed lawn, to their hilltop. I pulled him back and kept him on track until we got to our driveway. He was dancing around and started rolling his head. I was cracking up! "You are behaving so badly!" I said. But I had a twinge -- that twinge of complete happiness known as the peak experience. It has been a long while since I've felt that.

"Oh, all right." I let him go. We blasted up that hill. The arthritis, the winter fat, the years fell away from both of us, for those windblown, galloping moments.

Being together for seventeen years causes you to know someone so well, but there is still so much joy in these routines. I am grateful to have a long term friend like Clifford.

New Clifford Ebook!

"Clifford: The Horse Who Carries Me" is a 30 page ebook about the new adventures of Clifford, available for only $3.00. I offer this with the common knowledge that unfortunately, Clifford’s family has fallen upon hard times. Clifford and Trudy have been displaced, and are in the care of some of my trusted friends. For the first time since we came together, I will not be living with my horses.

I think of Clifford as, “The horse who carries me,” in more than just the physical sense. Over the years, he has been a source of constant inspiration, comfort and hilarity. I have been truly blessed to have him in my life. These stories are a compilation of what was to be included in the third part in the series of Clifford books. They feature recent photos, including pictures of the watercolors that Clifford created. I’ve decided to publish what I have as an ebook, in hopes that the future will hold more opportunities for many Clifford stories.

For more information, visit http://www.e-junkie.com/cliffysmom

I'm a Big Shot Now!

Amazon.com has given me my own author page.

Gotta figure out how to RSS feed this blog to it.

The Horses Who Inspired Me - Preview

I am working on a book featuring some of my equine art, and a preview of some chapters from the third Clifford Book. Here is a preview with a questionnaire:

https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1056104

Feel free to share the link with anyone you know who loves horses.

Thanks!

New Clifford Video!

Today's Project - Andalusian

Here's an Andalusian in conte with a touch of oil pencil. Size 9 x 12".

This will be framed and for sale at the Helluva Horse Event this weekend. Clifford and I will make an appearance there on Sunday to sign books, sell equine art and do a few tricks for his fans.

The Ultimate Dog Lover

Chicken Soup for the Soul publishers are coming out with a new dog book called The Ultimate Dog Lover, and I just found out that not one, but two of my stories have made it into the final round of submissions.

One story is about Cavar, my police dog, and the second is about Scorch.

I will have final word on their acceptance by May 30th. Keep fingers crossed!

Kerry Airatude

Today is Airatude's birthday! She's fifteen. It's hard to believe I've had her twelve years. As I wrote in "Clifford", I first saw her when she was just a baby, trotting by her dam's side. I was smitten then, but had to wait three years to get her. She and I have taken an incredible journey together. She has been a total joy and has added so much to my life. Here she is begging for mints with her brother!
Happy Birthday, 'Tude.